Grief
by deargoodbye
Summary: Her world was falling apart around her and she was being swallowed alive.
1. Prologue

It took everything she had not to lash out at their guests. They thought their words did something for her, but in reality she wanted to scoff at everything they said. They couldn't possibly understand the grief she was experiencing. Which is why she had taken refuge in her bedroom closet. It was a walk-in closet so it offered her a bit of privacy as she sat in the back, obscured by the clothes hanging in front of her. It was here that she let herself finally break down.

She cursed God and the fates. Tears streamed from her eyes as she anguished over her loss. She whimpered as she caught a whiff of his smell in the closet. Slowly she kneeled glancing around the small space before she spotted the source. It was a basket of dirty laundry that she'd thrown in here last night. She knew with her mother coming she had to make the place becoming and she also knew that her bedroom closet was one place her mother wouldn't dare to venture.

Ariadne pulled the basket towards her and lifted out the blue polo that laid on the top. She brought it up to her face and inhaled as deeply as she could before continuing to weep, her breath coming out ragged. She sagged back against the wall, unsure of how life could ever get better. How could this have happened to her? What had she done in a previous life that God thought she needed to pay this much. It was becoming hard for her to breath through her tears but she couldn't stop herself from crying.

Curling into a ball, Ariadne hugged the shirt close to her chest. Her throat hurt from her racking sobs and her eyes were sore from rubbing them. Part of her realized that if she didn't come out of the closet soon and rejoin everyone downstairs that someone would come looking for her, but she couldn't move not even if she wanted to. She couldn't stand the guilt weighing down on her shoulders. This was her fault and she knew she'd never be the same. It was as though she were broken and she doubted she'd ever be fixed again.

There was a noise just outside the bedroom door, but Ariadne ignored it. She wanted to be left alone, couldn't they understand that? Didn't they realize that it didn't matter where she was? It didn't matter if she was down with the guests or wallowing in her closet. Nothing could change the fact that he was gone and he was never going to come back. What did they expect of her? Was she supposed to put on a brave face and nod calmly every time said they were sorry for her loss? They couldn't possibly understand her loss. Their words were meaningless and she was sick of pretending otherwise.

She heard the door open but ignored the person standing in the entryway. She didn't want to talk. She didn't want to be comforted. She didn't want to hear more empty words. She didn't want to smile politely anymore. She wanted to be left alone. She wanted to wallow in her misery. She wanted to die. How could they expect anything more from her?

"Ariadne?" His voice was quiet as though he were afraid he'd startle her. She couldn't really blame him since her body was so tense it was starting to ache a little. "Ari..please come downstairs."

"Leave me alone," Her voice was quiet but there was a dangerous edge to it that caused the man to sigh.

Ariadne saw him shake his head slightly before standing, "Alright, Ariadne, I'll leave you alone for now."

He quietly closed the door behind him, but stood outside of it. He could barely stop himself from going back into the closet when he heard her continue to sob. He wanted to pull her into his arms and cradle her tightly against his chest. He knew what she was going through, but he had to be strong. He had to let her sort this out for herself. Slowly he backed away from the door and towards the entrance to the bedroom, he shoulders straightening with every step. He knew what he needed to do but he couldn't help that feel with every footstep he was losing her.

Ariadne wasn't sure how long she stayed in the closet, holding the polo to her face and inhaling deeply. She just knew it must have been awhile because the shirt was starting to smell more like her and less like him. Wiping her eyes, she placed the shirt back in the basket and stood. When she stepped into the bedroom she looked at herself in the mirror and could hardly recognize the woman who was staring back. She was a fragment of what she had been just days ago. She wasn't innocent and care-free anymore. There was far too much sadness radiating from her eyes to be considered either one of those things ever again.

Making her way to the bathroom, she turned the water on cold and began splashing it on her face. After a few moments, she turned the tap off and grabbed the hand towel that sat on her master suite bathroom sink before wiping her face. Glancing up she knew she had to fix her make-up and hair before contemplating walking back downstairs. It took only a few minutes and then she was slowly descending back into the throng of people that were usually known as her friends and family, but right now they were her enemies. They kept saying that she'd eventually move on and that she had to remember the positive.

Once she reached the bottom step, her face fell into a emotionless mask as her eyes scanned the room before landing on the blow-up photo that stood in the living room. Turning on her heel she rushed back up to the master bathroom and threw open the seat to the toilet before throwing up. She hadn't realized anyone had seen her until she felt a damp cloth on the back of her neck and a soothing hand running up and down her trembling back.

Tilting her head to the side she scowled at the man before her. "Don't any of you have the decency to leave me alone?"

He seemed taken aback by her attitude for a split second before shaking his head at her, "If you wanted decency, love, you picked the wrong bunch of people to befriend."

She scowled at him and ripped the rag from his hand before shoving him towards the entry. "Get out," She screeched in a voice she didn't even recognize. He scrambled back and held his hands up in a submissive gesture.

"Please, Ariadne, come downstairs and get some food."

"Food? You think I want food at a time like this? Get out, Eames. Get out now!" She shoved him again and when he finally stood and exited she slammed the door behind him. They seemed to understand that she didn't want to be around them after that and left her alone. She walked out into her bedroom and climbed onto her bed, hugging a pillow close to her chest as she cried herself to sleep still unsure of how she was supposed to move on with her life.

She felt the bed move later that night, but refused to open her eyes. Ariadne knew it was impossible for her to feign sleep to him, but that wasn't going to stop her from trying. She felt his hand on her face, gently brushing hair off of her wet cheek. She felt him lay down behind her and wrap his arm around her waist. She felt him pull her closer to him. She felt his breath on the back of her neck. Those were all physical feelings though. Inside, she was numb to what she used to feel when he did those things.

Ariadne laid in his arms for hours, not sleeping. She knew he wasn't sleeping either, but she still refused to acknowledge him and when he finally drifted off to sleep she pulled away from him before climbing out of the bed. She walked out of the bedroom and down the hallway to the last door on the left. Pushing it open she stood in the entrance way almost afraid to enter.

Running her hand along the wall, she felt for the light switch before flipping it to illuminate the room. Blue wallpaper with dinosaurs decorated the walls. Two mahogany dressers were on opposite sides and a bed was in the middle of them. There were toys littering the floors and paints still thrown about on the plastic desk in the corner. Walking into the room, Ariadne didn't cry, she merely sank down onto the bed and curled up into a ball. She stared at the wall until light began to show through the windows. Then she stood and began her morning routine, starting with a shower.

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**A.N. Let me know what you think of the story and trust me this is just the beginning. All will be revealed in the next chapter. **


	2. Chapter One

Ariadne wasn't sure how long she stood underneath the showerhead, but it had long since turned cold. When her fingers started to tremble she turned off the water and reached for her towel, wrapping it around her midsection. Once she stepped out of the bathroom and into the bedroom she was met with the sight of her husband sitting on their bed, his head in his hands. She ignored the sight of him and walked towards their closet pulling out the clothes that she would wear for the day. It took her less then five minutes to pull them on and then she headed back to the bathroom to blow dry her hair and pull it up into a ponytail.

By the time she was done, he was gone from their room but she could hear him down the hallway speaking with their daughter. Ariadne walked downstairs and into the kitchen. She pulled out the ingredients for chocolate chip pancakes. Once the batter was complete, she set the table for four and began making the pancakes. She could hear her husband and daughter on the stairs just as she'd finished the last of the pancakes and set them on the plates at the table. There was a booster sit in one chair, that was designated for their daughter.

Turning back to the stove, she turned off the burners and set the dirty dishes in the sink to be cleaned up after. When she turned to head towards the breakfast table, she completely ignored the look on her husbands face. "Isn't Aidan awake? I made his favorite."

She sat down and pulled the napkin onto her lap, not noticing the confused look on her daughters face. She heard her husband sigh but once again ignored him as she began to cut into her pancakes. His voice sounded thick as he spoke to their daughter. "How would you like to watch cartoons with your pancakes, princess?"

Ariadne heard her daughter squeal with excitement, but shot her husband a surprised look as he led their daughter into the living room and set her up with her pancakes and cartoons. He hated when the kids ate anywhere but at the table. When he came back into the kitchen, he pulled Aidan's chair closer to her and sat. She frowned at him, "What are you doing? That's Aidan's chair, he should be down any moment."

He seemed at a loss for what to say before pulling the silverware from her fingers and placing it on her plate before covering her hands with his. "Ari, please, you know he isn't coming down."

Giving him a dirty look, she pulled her hands from his and stood. "What are you saying, Arthur? He'll be down any minute. You know he likes to sleep late when he can."

Arthur stood as well and pulled her into his arms, "He isn't coming down, Ariadne. He's dead."

She pulled away from and turned her back, "Don't say that Arthur."

"Ari..he's dead, he's dead Ari."

She immediately turned back and smacked him across the face, "Stop saying that!"

His head flew to the side when she smacked him and Tristan came running back into the kitchen at her mother's shriek. Ariadne turned away from them both and went to the sink to do the dishes, her appetite suddenly gone. "What's wrong, daddy? Why is mommy yelling?"

She didn't have to look to know Arthur had gone to their youngest child and pulled her into his arms to quiet her crying. "It's okay, princess. Mommy's just sad right now. Why don't we go watch cartoons together?"

Ariadne heard them leave the kitchen and her shoulders sagged with relief as she continued to wash the dishes. She chose to forget what her husband had said because she needed to cling to her reality and in her reality her son was alive. Arthur couldn't take that away from her, if he did she was afraid reality would slip away from her completely.

Once she was finished with the dishes she left the kitchen to climb the stairs and follow the hallway down to her sons room. She walked into it without really seeing it and sat on the bed humming to herself. Slowly she moved her hand up and down the bedspread as her mind flashed back to all of the times she came in here to play with her son. "Oh, Aidan, you always leave such a mess." Although her words were meant as a scolding her tone was completely playful.

Ariadne sighed and climbed to her feet before leaving the room and closing the door behind her. She walked into her own bedroom and walked to the closet to get the laundry basket out. When she saw it was gone all she could see was red as she stormed downstairs to find her husband. He was just turning the washing machine on when she shoved him out of the way. "No, no, no, no…"

She lifted the lid on the washing machine and began pulling Aidan's clothes out making sure there was no detergent on them. Scowling she placed them lovingly in the laundry basket and held it close to her chest when she turned to face Arthur who was staring at her in disbelief. She backed away from him slowly before completely turning her back to him and once again retreating to the comfort of her room.

Once there she laid all of the tiny clothes out on her bed, her fingertips trailing over them slowly. She laid on top of them, smelling each one with a smile on her face. She never noticed when Arthur came in or the weary expression her wore on his face. He stood there for a few moments before clearing his throat. When she looked up at him, she had tears in her eyes. "I have to get Tristy to daycare. I'll only be gone for a bit, do you need anything while I'm out."

Ariadne shook her head and laid her head back down on the bed. She heard him shuffle out of the room and then she heard the front door close a few moments later. Standing, she walked to the bedroom door and closed it before locking it. Then she walked back to the bed and leaned down to pull the silver briefcase from underneath. In less then a minute she had set the timer for ten minutes and had the needle in her wrist. Once she pushed the button on the machine she let out a sigh and fell back onto the bed, her eyes slipping shut as the dream world overtook her mind.

_Ariadne looked around her at the world she had created. It was as large or magnificent as the worlds she was used to creating for work, but it was special all the same. It was Aidan's favorite place, the park two blocks from their house. She smiled as she walked over to the swing set, he was already there high in the air. Ariadne walked around the swing set and began to push her son, his laughter filling her mind._

_"Higher, Mommy, higher!" He screamed with delight as she pushed him higher and higher. "Higher!"_

_Ariadne laughed, "If you go any higher you'll drift off into space."_

_Her son turned to look at her, his eyes sparkling with delight. "Mommy, that's silly!"_

_"Silly, but true."_

_Aidan shook his head emphatically, "Nuh-uh Daddy told me that what's up has to come down cause of gravthy."_

_"Okay, okay, you got me."_

_"Mommy, I wanna go on the slide now!" Ariadne, held onto the swing so that it would slow to a stop. As soon as it did, Aidan jumped off and ran over to the jungle gym. Once he got to the top he gave her an impatient glance. "Come on, Mommy. Come on the slide with me."_

_Laughing, Ariadne followed her son to the top of the jungle gym and held him as they both went down the slide. He turned and poked her stomach, "Tag! You're it!"_

_Ariadne gave chase and the two continued to run around the park for what seemed like hours. As Ariadne was swinging him around in the air, the world began collapsing around her and the smile that had graced her face fell of just as quickly._

_"Mommy?" She heard the scared tone of her sons voice. "Mommy, what's happen…."_

Ariadne sat bolt upright in bed, taking a deep breath as she glanced around her. Slowly she pulled the needle from her wrist and wrapped up the cord. Placing it back in the suitcase she closed the lid and slid the case back under the bed to it's normal position. Shortly after she heard Arthur pull up in the driveway. Standing she began to place Aidan's clothes back into the hamper and placed the hamper in the closet.

She heard Arthur on the stairs and when he came into the room, she was sitting on her bed staring out the bedroom window. He sat next to her and placed his hand on her thigh. She stiffened when he touched her but didn't pull away. "I've been thinking, Arthur, don't you think it would be amazing if we took the kids to Disneyworld for Aidan's birthday. It's only a month away and I know Tristy is to young to really enjoy it, but I know Aidan will love it."

Arthur took a deep breath before pulling his wife into his laps, not caring that her body was completely stiff. "Ari, please, this has to stop. You know he's gone. Why are you doing this?"

Ariadne looked up at her husbands face, "Yes he's gone to school. Which is why I'm discussing this now. What is wrong with you Arthur? Don't you want to make his birthday special? He's only going to turn six once."

The smile that graced her lips was so indulgent, as if she truly believed what she was saying. Arthur didn't know what to say so he simply nodded his head and swallowed back a sob that threatened to escape. He had to be strong, his wife and daughter needed him. Holding her close, he buried his face in his hair wondering how things had gone so horribly wrong.

When his arms tightened, Ariadne let out a little whimper. "Arthur let go, you're hurting me."

As soon as the words left her lips, Arthur's arms fell to the side. Ariadne took the opportunity to stand, "I'm glad you agreed. I'm going to start making the arrangements."

He grabbed her arm to stop her, "Couldn't it wait, Ari? Just for a bit."

Ariadne scoffed at him and shook her head, "Arthur, what has gotten into you? You never put off plans like these and no they can't wait. I've got so much to do. I knew you'd love the idea." With that she exited the room and walked downstairs to the office so that she could begin getting everything ready for the trip.

Ariadne spent the rest of the afternoon on the laptop, planning the trip they would take the following month. Once she was finished, she printed everything out and set it to the side so Arthur could look it over later. Although Ariadne was perfectly capable of doing everything herself, she knew her husband well enough to know that he would want to finalize all of the plans to make sure Ariadne had considered everything.

When Arthur didn't leave to pick up Tristan, Ariadne began to wonder what he was doing. She walked upstairs and found him sitting in their bedroom studying the silver briefcase that had previously been under the bed. He turned and gazed at her stoically when she entered. "Arthur, you have to pick up Tristan."

"No, no…she's going to be staying with Cobb for a few days." He walked closer to Ariadne and grabbed her arm, pushing her shirt up. She could see a scowl cross his face when he found what he was looking for. "What were you doing hooked up the PASIV, Ariadne?"

Offering her husband a shrug, she pulled her arm from his and turned her back to him. "Just testing some new ideas."

Arthur grabbed her arm and twisted her around to look at him, his eyes hard as they stared down at her. "You're lying."

Laughing bitterly, Ariadne shook her head, "Sometimes Arthur, I think you expect the very worst of me." She pulled her arm from his grasp and took a step back. "What do you want me to say?"

"I want you tell me the truth, goddamn it. I think I deserve the truth after all these years, Ari. I'm here for you. I know what you're going through, but this isn't the way to deal with it."

Ariadne wrapped her arms around herself, "I've absolutely no idea what you're talking about Arthur."

She quickly left her bedroom and walked downstairs to the kitchen, pulling out a wine glass before grabbing the first bottle in sight. Ariadne didn't notice that it was the bottle that her and Arthur had been saving for their anniversary and she didn't care. She ignored her husbands footsteps as he followed her to the kitchen. "Ari, you haven't eaten today. How about you let me cook you dinner and then we'll have a glass of wine afterwards?"

Ariadne spun on her husband, her eyes flashing. "I'm sorry, Arthur, last time I checked I was a grown woman who could make decisions for herself. Are you telling me that I can't drink?"

He recognized the dangerous edge to her tone and knew better then to push her right now. "That's not what I was saying," He trailed off as he noticed which bottle of wine she had chosen to partake in tonight. "That was for our anniversary."

"Does it look like I care?" Ariadne pulled the top off of the bottle and set it off to the side as she poured herself a full glass of wine. Taking both the bottle and her glass with her she walked back upstairs but instead of going into her bedroom, she walked down the hallway to her sons room and pushed the door open.

When her eyes landed on the boxes that now littered his room but hadn't this morning she let out a soft cry and the bottle nearly fell from her hands. She caught herself in time though and set both the bottle and glass on the closest dresser before walking towards the first box. It had already been labeled toys and sealed up. She angrily ripped the tape off and opened the box. There on top sat Rufus, Aidan's favorite teddy bear that was currently missing an eye. She pulled it out and hugged it close to her chest.

The moment she heard Arthur at the door she spun on him and stormed towards the doorway where he was. "What do you think you're doing?"

Although she was screaming, Arthur remained stoic. "I'm packing up his room Ariadne. It isn't healthy for you to be doing this."

"What are you talking about? How could you do this? When he gets home he's going to be so upset to see his stuff like this! You know he hates it when we move his things! How could you do this?" She knew she wasn't making sense, but she was so upset with her husband right now that she couldn't bring herself to care. He was packing away their son as if he'd never existed.

Arthur sighed and nodded, "Fine, I'll unpack everything."

He started moving towards the box but she shoved him, which stopped him in his tracks. "No! I'll do it. Get out, Arthur! I don't even want to look at you." Her voice was lower then before but there was still a coldness behind her words that had never been there before. She knew she was hurting him but he had hurt her first.

Ariadne walked over to the dresser and picked up her glass of wine, swallowing half of it in one gulp. Her hands were unsteady as she walked back over to the box, still holding Rufus loosely in one arm. She felt Arthur follow and she turned to glare at him. "Just leave. Haven't you caused enough damage for one night?"

Instead of answering, Arthur grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him causing her to spill her wine on Rufus. Ariadne let out a cry and pulled away from Arthur, setting the glass down on the carpet and grabbing the bottom of her shirt to start sopping up the wine and trying to get it off of Rufus.

"Now look what you've done! You know how he hates it when his things get ruined." She couldn't bear to say his name right now.

Arthur dropped to his knees in front of her and gently took her shoulders in his hands, "Ari this has to stop. I can't let it go on any longer."

"What are you talking about?" She scowled at him and she continued to try and clean up the bear.

"He's gone, Ari, he's gone forever."

Ariadne's head snapped up when he spoke, "Don't. Don't you dare, Arthur. She stood quickly, the bear forgotten as she grabbed the bottle off of the dresser and ran to her bedroom door. She slammed the door shut behind her and locked it. Then she pulled her desk chair up to the front of the door and tilted it enough to stop him from entering even if he picked the lock.

She heard him knocking and yelling for her to open the door but she refused to acknowledge him. She chugged a bit from the bottle but set it down when she started to get dizzy. She heard Arthur picking the lock and heard his shoulder banging into the door. She knew it was only a matter of seconds before he was in the room, but she would still refuse to acknowledge him. When the door splintered and he made his way in, she rounded on him. "Who do you think you are?" She screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Ari, I'm your husband. I was his father, I know how you fell. I loved him-" She cut him off with a smack to the side of his face. His cheeks reddened and she knew it was taking all of his self-control not to shake her, but she couldn't bring herself to give a damn.

"You know how I feel? How could you possibly? I'm his mother, I carried him for nine months, he grew in my belly. I nursed him! I kissed his boo-boo's better! He came to me to snuggle when he had nightmares! I put him to bed when you were at work. You couldn't possibly understand how I feel."

Arthur sighed and ran a hand over his face, "Didn't you do all those things with Tristan?"

Ariadne shot him an angry look, "So?"

"So? Ariadne, she is your daughter."

"And he's my son." Ariadne turned her back on him, signaling that she was done with the conversation but she knew it was far from over. Arthur would never give up this easily. He was nothing if not stubborn. It was one of the things she used to love about him, but now she hated him for it.

"Ariadne, he's dead." Her shoulders shook when she heard those words. She turned around and began punching his chest as her eyes clouded with tears. "Shhh…"

He wrapped his arms around her, taking everything she could throw at him because deep down he felt as though he deserved it. He should have been around more. He shouldn't have taken off and left her alone with Tristan and Aidan so much. After what seemed like hours, she sagged against him her arms falling lifelessly to her sides. He ran his hand through her hair as he held her closer to him.

"We'll make it through this, I promise." Although Ariadne didn't answer she knew in her heart that Arthur was making a promise he wouldn't be able to keep because there was no way she was going to make it through this. She was dying on the inside and nobody could save her.

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**A.N. Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I hope you're enjoying this story. I'm going to try to update every other day or every couple of days. I figure the story will have anywhere from 8-12 chapters. Hope you enjoy and if you have any tips or anything let me know because I don't have a beta. **

**A.N.2 I completely forgot to put in the first chapter but of course I don't own Inception. I got the idea from a book I read a few months back. I wish I could remember the title of it, but anyway in case you read this and it seems similar that's why. I stopped reading partway through though so it may seem similar but trust me it will be vastly different by the time I'm done. Anyway if anyone happens to notice and knows what it's called please let me know so I can give proper credit.  
**


	3. Chapter Two

The next few days passed slowly for Ariadne because Arthur was constantly around. It was beginning to annoy her how he would constantly hover over her, giving her little time for herself. Of course that meant barely anytime with the silver briefcase that had become her reprieve from this horrible existence.

Deep down she knew she couldn't keep up the charade, but she wasn't sure where to go from here. She needed to hold onto her baby boy otherwise she would lose herself completely. Finally, the weekend arrived and she knew he'd be gone at least half the day. He had to go to Cobb's to pick up Tristan and she doubted he would leave right away. He'd practically begged her to come with him, but she'd adamantly refused.

This was the first time in days that she'd get a chance to escape into the dream world. When Arthur finally left she practically ran to the bedroom. Kneeling down she looked under the bed only to curse under her breath. She should have known he'd move it. Scowling, she stood and walked calmly to the phone dialing Arthur's number. He picked up on the first ring, "What is it, Ari? Are you alright?" His voice was laced with concern but to her his tone seemed triumphant.

"What did you do with it?" She didn't specify what 'it' was because she knew he'd know what she was talking about.

"Ari, I told you it wasn't safe to use it like that." All she heard was condemnation but he was growing more and more concerned for her by the minute.

"It isn't any of your business, Arthur. Tell me where it is or I'll-"

He cut her off so swiftly, she had to take a deep breath. "You'll what, Ariadne? What will you do? I've already lost my son, I won't lose my wife as well."

"FUCK YOU, ARTHUR!" She screamed into the phone before slamming it down on the receiver. She calmly walked towards her bedroom to dress for the day. Arthur thought he was so smooth, taking the PASIV when she had her back turned, but Ariadne knew how truly stupid that gesture was. In all her years of working with dreams she'd met her fair share of acquaintances. One of which happened to have a lab much like Yusuf's in downtown Los Angeles. That was only a forty-five minute drive from her house and she was more then willing to make it.

Once she was dressed, she walked to her car and opened the door. As she pulled out of the driveway, she turned in the direction of her destination and turned on the music trying to drown out her thoughts. Of course, that was damn near impossible especially considering how volatile they were right now.

How could Arthur do that to her? Didn't he understand? Didn't he want to see Aidan? How could he just turn off his emotions? How could he be so cold-hearted and cruel? Her baby was gone and she needed this otherwise what else was there to live for? Arthur would tell her that she should be living for him and for their daughter. He just didn't understand.

It wasn't that she didn't love her daughter. Quite the opposite, she loved her daughter so much but she had just lost a part of herself. A big part of herself. Aidan had been her first child. He was her son. She cried as she remembered the nights she'd stay awake walking back and forth down the hallway holding her infant son in her arms because he was colicky. She remembered waking up three times a night to breast feed. She remembered the first time he'd run a temperature and Arthur hadn't been there. She'd taken him to the hospital and sat in the ER for damn near six hours.

She slammed her fist into the steering wheel, not caring that it caused her horn to blare loudly. Arthur was a fool if he thought hiding the PASIV was going to keep her from dreaming. If she had to leave him to dream then so be it. She didn't want to become like Cobb. She just wanted to see her boy. To know that he was still alive even if it was just in the recesses of her mind.

Her husband of all people should understand that. He, along with Cobb, had stripped her of her ability to dream. She could never close her eyes and pray that she would see her son within her dreams because she didn't dream. It was their fault, so how could they damn her to a dreamless life and then take away the one thing that could help her?

Ariadne shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts and stop the tears from falling. She heard her phone ringing, but she ignored it and wiped her eyes furiously. After taking a few deep breaths she was able to stop the tears. Turning down the music, she grabbed her cell phone and saw she had six missed calls. Four were from Arthur and she one from both Cobb and Eames. Frowning, she flipped her cell phone open and pressed the power button before tossing it into the back seat.

She didn't want to hear from any of them right now. They didn't understand what she was feeling. They couldn't possibly say anything to her that would make her feel better. It didn't take her as long as she thought it would to reach the building that housed the lab. Locking her car, she made her way towards the entrance and walked in. The door chimed, announcing her entrance as she looked around. Riley wasn't in the front but the footsteps she heard told Ariadne that she would be shortly.

Turning towards the source of the footsteps, Ariadne stared at the woman in front of her. Riley was in her mid-thirties and she had shoulder length blonde hair. Her hair was up in a ponytail and she had glasses perched on her nose as she studied Ariadne. Her brown eyes didn't give anything away as she waited for Ariadne to say something.

Clearing her throat, Ariadne tore her gaze away from Riley and looked around the room. "I want to hook up to the machine."

"I figured," Riley stated, her deep southern accent clear in the words she spoke. "Does anyone know you are here?"

Ariadne shook her head before turning her eyes back to Riley. "I'd like it to stay that way."

Riley gave her a swift nod and turned back towards the hallway she'd come from. "Follow me, then."

Ariadne followed her down the hallway and up a flight of stairs. Riley opened a door to her left and led Ariadne into a small room, with a single machine and a cot. "No more group connections?"

"We have them, but I've found some people prefer private sessions and will pay well for them." Riley turned her gaze back to Ariadne, "I assumed that was what you would want."

Ariadne nodded her head and walked towards the cot, slowly laying down on it. Riley swabbed her wrist before hooking her up to the Pasiv. "How long?"

"An hour," Ariadne said softly. She watched as Riley set the machine and gave her a tiny smile. Once Riley pressed the button to start the machine, Ariadne closed her eyes and let herself drift off.

_The setting was different in the dream, instead of the park she created a theme park. Ariadne smiled to herself as she looked around at the empty resort. It was a combination of all of the theme parks she'd been to over the years and she was proud of herself. She spotted Aidan a few feet to her left and walked over to him. He was turning in circles, his eyes as wide as saucers as he studied all the different rides around them. "Do you like it?"_

_He turned to Ariadne and nodded his head emphatically, "It's amazing, Mommy."_

_She laughed and picked him up, twirling him in a circle as she held him close. "I missed you, baby."_

_He pulled away to study her, "Missed you too, Mommy? Where'd you go? We didn't even finish playing."_

_"I had to take care of Daddy and Tristy, but we'll play all day, okay?" The smile she gave him was the biggest one she'd had on her face since Aidan had died._

_He kissed her nose and grinned, "Okay Mommy."_

_Aidan pointed towards the water park and gave her a toothy smile, "I wanna go there first, Mommy."_

_Ariadne ruffled his curly brown locks and set him on the ground. "Then that's where we're going."_

_Aidan and Ariadne played throughout the park for the rest of the day. They spent most of it in the water park, going on the rides and in the pools. Time flew by, but Ariadne soaked up every minutes she could with her son. He looked so beautiful that she caught herself crying a few times and she had hugged him dozens of times throughout the day. He would laugh and blush before telling her to stop and play with him._

_She'd never realized how much he was like Arthur before then. He had the same dimples and eyes, his chin had the same shape. Ariadne made herself stop thinking such things and just bask in the time she had with her son. She knew deep down that Arthur would make her stop dreaming like this so she doubted she'd be able to spend much more time like this with her son and she wanted to build new memories even if it was just with the shade of her son that her mind had created._

When Ariadne woke up in the real world, her face was wet with tears. Riley had her back turned and Ariadne had a feeling she'd turned away on purpose so that Ariadne could have time to compose herself. She never thought she'd be thankful to the cold woman standing two feet away from her, but in that moment she was. Quickly, Ariadne, wiped her face and sat up. Riley turned back towards Ariadne, her face as blank as ever. Leaning down she pulled the needle from Ariadne's wrist and began cleaning it and putting it away.

"You may need a moment. I'll be in the front when you're ready to leave." Riley turned and strode from the room, not once looking back at Ariadne.

Grabbing her purse from where she'd dropped it next to the cot, she pulled out a tissue and dabbed her eyes. Ariadne tossed the tissue back into the recesses of her purse as she looked for her compact. She touched up her make-up and then made her way downstairs. Once she was in the front room she pulled out some money and held it out for Riley.

Riley took it and gave her a grim smile, "Eames came by. I think he may be waiting for you by your car."

Ariadne simply smiled and walked out of the store and towards her car where Eames was indeed waiting for her. He looked disappointed but Ariadne couldn't bring herself to care. "How nice to see you, Mr. Eames."

The frown on Eames face deepened at the tone of her voice, "Ariadne." He said her name gently and then paused for a moment to gather his thoughts. "Arthur is worried about you."

Ariadne let out a puff of air, "Like you've always said Arthur is a stick in the mud." She pulled her keys from her purse and unlocked her car door. "Now if you wouldn't mind moving I have to go to the grocery store before going home."

He didn't move though, not that Ariadne had really expected him to but she had hoped he would. "Ari, I know you're hurting but do you really think that this," He motioned towards the building she'd just left, "is the best way to deal with that pain."

"It's none of your damn business," Although her words were harsh, her tone came off as exasperated. She truly didn't want to deal with Eames right now. Quite frankly, she didn't want to deal with any of them even her husband. "I wouldn't have had to come here, if Arthur hadn't hidden our PASIV."

"He's afraid you're going to end up like Mal or Cobb."

"Well then I suppose my husband doesn't know me very well, does he?" She tried pushing Eames out of her way but he wasn't budging.

"No, love, you aren't going to get rid of me that easily. You can't do this to yourself. It doesn't matter how strong you are you will end up like them if you continue like this." Eames gave her a pleading look that only added to the anger beginning to bubble within her.

"How can you stand there and act like you know what will happen? I am nothing like them! I'm not debating if I'm in reality or not. I'll always know what reality is! Reality just killed my son, Eames. No dream of mine would've allowed that. Kindly get out of my way," She wasn't screaming but the hostility in her voice got the point across as though she were.

Eames shook his head and stepped away from the car, "You're not alone."

She opened her door and got in, not wanting to continue this conversation with Eames. As she pulled away, she knew he was staring at her but she refused to acknowledge him. Instead of going to the grocery story, like she'd told Eames she was doing she headed towards the nearest liquor store. Once there she bypassed the wines and went directly for the tequila. After she finished purchasing the alcohol, she continued home and was relieved to find that Arthur wasn't there.

As soon as she was inside she pulled out a glass and put some ice in it before pouring herself a healthy amount of tequila. Slowly she ascended the stairs and went directly to her sons room. Ariadne didn't bother turning on the light, she just collapsed on his bed with her back against the wall. The minutes ticked by as Ariadne drank herself into a stupor cursing her existence.

* * *

**A.N. Sorry about the length of the chapter. I was hoping it would be longer but I had more trouble writing the dream segment then I would have liked and so it isn't as long as I wanted it to be. Anyway thank you for the reviews, I'm glad people are enjoying my story. If anyone has an suggestions or questions let me know! **


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